Gentle Sleep Approaches: Nurturing Healthy Sleep Habits for Babies & Children

A good night’s sleep starts with feeling safe and secure. Babies and young children thrive on physical contact and closeness, which helps them relax and drift into restful sleep. Creating a soothing bedtime routine can signal to babies that it's time to wind down for the night. A soothing bath or relaxing baby massage can encourage deeper relaxation before bedtime.

Sleep requirements change dramatically in early childhood:

• Newborns sleep an average of 14.5 hours per day, with some sleeping as much as 20 hours.
• By six months, babies develop a day-night rhythm and need around 13 hours of sleep.
• Toddlers and preschoolers need anywhere from 9 to 14 hours, with some children naturally outgrowing naps by age three.

Sleep patterns are highly individual, and children’s needs evolve as they grow.

For adults, sleeping through the night is considered the norm, and we often wish the same for our children. However, historical sleep patterns suggest humans were more often awake at night, just as babies frequently wake for comfort and nourishment. Our nervous system still responds to stress and relaxation in the same way. When children wake at night, it’s often a natural biological response rather than a "problem" to fix.

From infancy, children seek comfort and security through physical closeness. Skin-to-skin contact, co-sleeping, and breastfeeding stimulate oxytocin, the "bonding hormone," promoting deeper relaxation.

Dr. Herbert Renz-Polster, a pediatrician and sleep expert, advises against sleep training methods that involve leaving babies to cry alone. He explains that while a baby may stop crying after prolonged distress, they are not learning to sleep but rather giving up.

Sleep training techniques that rely on ignoring a baby’s cries can create insecurity, leading to disrupted sleep patterns and heightened anxiety. Instead, children need reassurance and comfort to develop long-term sleep confidence.

A child’s ability to sleep well starts during the day. A balanced routine that includes both activity and relaxation sets the stage for peaceful nights.

Consider:

• Predictable rhythms: Regular wake-up and bedtime routines help regulate a child's internal clock.
• Bedtime rituals: Reading a book, cuddling, or singing a lullaby signals that it’s time to wind down.
• Reduced screen time: Avoid screens before bed to prevent overstimulation and delayed melatonin release.

Many parents worry about co-sleeping, but research shows that in non-smoking households with no substance use, co-sleeping is just as safe as a crib when done properly. It can also improve sleep quality for both parents and babies by reducing night waking. Research has shown that breastfeeding in bed allows mothers and babies to synchronize their sleep cycles. If bottle-feeding or if only the father is present, simply keeping the baby close can provide comfort. Trusting parental intuition is key and fostering safe sleeping arrangements. 

Checklist: Ensuring your baby sleeps safely

• Your baby should sleep on a simple, firm mattress, with no soft pillows or thick blankets that could cause suffocation or overheating.
• Ensure there are no gaps in the bed frame where your baby could get trapped.
• Your baby should not bed-share with other children, pets or soft toys.
• Cover your baby with a properly sized baby sleeping bag instead of a loose blanket.
• The safest sleep position for babies is on their back, until they can turn over by themselves.
• Do not bed-share with your baby if you have consumed alcohol or drugs.
• Breastfeeding babies should sleep directly next to their mother; bottle-fed babies should sleep on a separate surface close to their mother's bed.
• Never sleep with your baby on a sofa or arm-chair due to the risk of dropping or smothering your baby.

Responding to your baby’s sleep needs with warmth and reassurance won’t make them overly dependent. On the contrary, children who feel secure develop a stronger sense of independence over time.

The more relaxed parents are, the easier it is for children to settle. Over-concern about sleep can create stress, making sleep struggles more intense. Healthy sleep isn’t about forcing babies to conform to rigid schedules. It’s about creating a safe, nurturing environment where children can naturally develop their own sleep rhythms. By responding to their cues and fostering a sense of security, parents can support their child’s sleep in a gentle, reassuring way.

​​​​​As children grow, their sleep needs evolve. Encourage healthy habits by:

• Respecting their natural sleep-wake rhythms.
• Creating a calm, positive bedtime routine.
• Addressing nighttime fears with nightlights or comforting bedtime stories.

By fostering a secure and nurturing bedtime environment, parents can help their child develop healthy sleep habits naturally, leading to restful nights for the whole family.